"Thanks for calling Patient Advisory. My name is Sidney, I'm a nurse, all calls are being recorded, how may I help you?"

April 20, 2012

My positions as a Registered Nurse have gradually become less credible and less demanding, both physically and mentally. I have gone from working in IMC at McKay Dee where I spent my 12 hours wiping obese patients butts, holding down violent detoxing patients and inserting feeding tubes in the confused elderly. Where going on a walk with a patient down one hallway would literally take 30 minutes- after assisting them and their iv lines, chest tubes, feeding tubes, oxygen, and foley catheter. Where nothing ever went as planned. Where people were dying, decisions were serious and you actually had to use your brain and common sense. Where after a 12 hour shift you were exhausted!

Next came Mount ogden Surgical Center, where things took a turn for the calmer. If you had a difficult patient, you only had to deal with them for a short time before you could send them home to cry out their pain to someone who actually cared. Where the most intense nursing skill involved was starting an IV and mixing up an antibiotic. At first I felt like I was losing my abiity to critically think, I no longer needed to know lab values and ventiator settings. In a sense, I felt as if I was no longer a valued asset. I could easily be replaced by a new grad who has the fresh knowledge still packed in their brain. The saying is true- if you don't use it, you lose it. After three years, I didn't feel bad anymore about not knowing what I used to know. I had come to an inner peace about this knowledge being flushed clean out of my brain.  My dad always says "I've forgotten more than you'll ever learn." This has never made more sense to me...

Then, I moved to Illinois. It is here that I have taken on the most ridiculous, mind numbing job yet as a nurse. There is no physical demand, there is no face to face nursing invoved. I get to talk to patients over the phone at the comfort of my own cubicle. I get to speak with the fine citizens of Illinois. The citizens that light their pubic hair on fire. The citizens that lose their car in parking lots and naturally think to call us. The citizens that self-diagnose themseves and then call in to let us know they're sure they have cancer, and they are going to die in less than 6 weeks. oh, and my personal favorite thus far, "Can I get my girfriend pregnant if I have kidney stones?" If anything, I feel better as a parent and a citizen having this job. So that, in itself, is a plus. 

For shits and giggles I wanted to show off this lovely article and photo of the staff of Patient Advisory here at Carle Hospital in Urbana, Il as featured in this month's issue of 'The lamp The light... Nurse Beat'. If you are reading this and don't know me well, I hope you can sense my sarcasm. 

Easter Egg Hunt

April 7, 2012

Is It Summer Yet?

If I didn't know these children, I'd think they were missing a chromosome or two.